My grandma, my Ma-Ma, passed away at 91 a year and a half ago. She and my grandpa’s house in Ohio was a stable location for me and my family as we moved every few years around the country. They lived in the same house since 1954 and few things changed in that house over many years of visits. Two things in particular had been in the same locations for as long as I could remember: my Ma-Ma’s cedar chest in her bedroom and my Granny’s cedar chest in the guest bedroom.
My mom gave me the option of choosing the one I wanted to take, and to be honest with you, it was a tough decision. It felt like I was somehow ignoring or neglecting one by choosing the other. I knew the origin stories of each cedar chest. I dillied and dallied on making a decision. According to my mom, my grandma always said that she was supposed to have Granny’s and I was supposed to take hers. Recently, my parents drove up to visit and bring a cedar chest to me. THE PRESSURE. Which one do I choose? Do I even want one anymore? What will I do with it?
Eventually, I thought it through and determined that I could rearrange some things and move my current cedar chest into the closet and have my Ma-Ma’s chest at the foot of the bed. I decided that I would fill it with my knitting yarn–a hobby that I have picked up over the past five years. I really wish I had paid more attention and asked questions of my Ma-Ma as she knitted and crocheted me slippers and a very precious Christmas sweater as a child, among other items. Ultimately, the decision was made. I would take her chest because it was the one she wanted me to have AND I had a plan for it. I was excited to think about filling it with brightly colored yarn, something that I now love that she loved for my entire childhood.
Sometimes a decision is made for you–sometimes you have to make a decision. If you are hesitating about bringing an item into your home from a loved one, pause and think about whether or not you have a use for it. I am thankful that I had the time to take a deep breath and come up with a plan before I let a big item into my house. My mother has also given me permission to not keep it forever... A huge blessing in my book. If it no longer serves me, I can feel at peace knowing that I have used it and loved it in honor of my grandma, and filled it with something that would have made her heart smile. I challenge you to pause before just accepting an item from guilt or memories that may be difficult to manage in your space. I hope that if you can pause, breathe, and process before making a decision, you will feel at peace as I now do.
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